The Most Ridiculously Sri Lankan Ways of Rejecting Romance Partners!

We can all agree that Sri Lankans are romance ninjas in our own sweet, innocent, utterly cringy ways. If you think about it, can you even remember a time where you went to Viharamahdevi Park, the boats at Diyawanna Oya, the jogging track at Independence Square or Weli Park in Nawala and not see a bunch of couples cosying up to each other under umbrellas, fighting the scorching hot sun?

Just like we are equipped to up the romance when we’re in love, we are also known to up the ante when we are forced to reject a romantic request from a counterpart that we are not too interested in. And yes, you guessed it, the cold hard truth, “Sorry, I’m not interested in you,” is seldom used during rejections. Instead, we are experts at coming up with the most hilarious and ridiculously Sri Lankan excuses to go through with the rejection.

In the spirit of amping up the fun, we decided to conduct a social experiment and ask the public to send us the most ridiculous excuses they’ve heard when facing rejection or they’ve said when rejecting someone else.

But before you continue reading, Warning: you may experience side effects of belly aches due to uncontrollable laughter. Viewer discretion is advised.

 

“My parents are not allowing me to date”

 

“I can’t date while I’m still in school, but do find me when we’re no longer schooling”

 

“I can’t date cause I have exams”

 

“My parents are very strict”

 

These are some of the holy grail excuses that every Lankan has given at some point in their lives, especially during their school-going teenage years. In all fairness, though, brown parents tend to have military-grade restrictions on teenagers, specifically brown parents of 90’s babies.

 

“Horoscopes match, but the percentage is not big enough”

 

“Our horoscopes don’t match”

 

“Our families are not from the same religion”

 

It doesn’t get more Sri Lankan than this! These excuses are the literal embodiment of the phrase that went viral on TikTok recently, “Tell me you’re Sri Lankan without telling me you’re Sri Lankan”. Religion differences and horoscope mismatches are some of the go-to excuses that people use during rejections.

 

“You’re too tall for me; the guy should always be taller”

 

“I prefer thin girls; you’re too fat”

 

These are just downright rude and unempathetic! As sad as it is, Sri Lankan rejections won’t be the same without body shaming in the mix.

 

“I already have a boyfriend”

 

“I’m not ready for a relationship”

 

 

“I’m crushing on someone right now”

 

“I’m still not over my ex”

 

“I’m just really busy”

 

“ghosted”

 

These are the go-to excuses that Sri Lankan boys and girls divulge when they’re too bored to come up with something more creative. But in all fairness, kudos to the loyal Lankans who stay faithful to their partners by not giving in to the flirtatious whims of those who are not their significant others.

 

“I heard once that someone asked his mother to break up with the girlfriend”

 

“‘Your peepee is too long, and it hurts.’ I recently got to know that she has vaginismus”

 

“I have been rejected for being from the Southern Province”

 

“My ex’s mom blew a basket because my parents were divorced and forbade him to talk to me”

 

“I was rejected because I didn’t want to give up my job as an air hostess”

 

“My parents will never accept you because you’re from a broken family”

 

“Amma think females become ugly or change after they turn 27”

 

“You’re clearly not living up to your own mother’s expectations, and I can’t have her at my neck blaming me every time her son messes up”

 

These are the most bizarre, intensely problematic rejections that we received, stemming from insecurities, toxicities, low self-awareness and toxic family traits. And to be brutally honest, the people who faced these rejections dodged some massive bullets because being in relationships with these types of people would be more damaging than facing the rejection itself! If someone rejects you for the most bizarre reasons, know that you deserve so much better!

And that’s about it. We hope you had a chuckle or two while reading this article and that you could relate to some of the rejection excuses mentioned. And remember, the truth is not a bad option to go with when rejecting someone. And if someone is rejecting you, just be thankful that you didn’t get led on and know that it’s not meant to be!

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