When You’re Dating a Psycho Lankan Girlfriend

As one would understand there will a come a point in life where certain things may not play in your favour. You outgrow your favourite clothes, your protein shakes run out, your data limit has exceeded and your girlfriend says she wants to read every text you’ve sent since the dawn of time. What could this mean? Is she genuinely suspicious of your acts, or is she hands down the reason why you need CCTV protection to ensure you wake up the next day?

Here are some of the common signs that you’re dating a potential character from Criminal Minds.


1. When she begins to compare you with her past lovers

As we all know, it isn’t uncommon to date someone who has been in a relationship before. Although sharing past experiences may help one another overcome similar issues; it isn’t wise to cross that threshold of “that’s not how he used to do it.” All your arguments and fights would circulate around what her ex did and didn’t do and that she would have been better off with him. Heck, the poor dude doesn’t want to be with her anymore and had you picked up on that sooner; you wouldn’t be having this conversation.


2. When she starts making demands

Let’s face it – a good relationship is built on trust and at certain times, compromise. Certain sacrifices are essential to ensure that you and your partner are content with each other. But the moment she forbids you from cracking a cold one with the boys, asks you to refrain from talking to your oldest female buddies, and asks you to un-tag all the pictures that you are in with some of your female friends,while she gallivants around doing whatever she pleases and would pop an artery if asked to do the same, then be warned! That should certainly be a major red flag and your wake up call!


3. When she gets too clingy

Have you ever met the human equivalent of superglue? Chances are that you’re probably too naïve or lovestruck to identify what affection and being clingy is. As someone in a relationship, I feel like I can speak for most men when I say that we love our space and our alone time as much as we love spending time with our significant others. One must be able to draw the line between caring and creepy. When you realize that every picture of you that is uploaded is being downloaded, every hashtag followed, heck even your name being Googled, just leave and you may still have your sanity along with a few 9326492374 missed calls.


4. When she constantly accuses you

Accusations and arguments are fairly common in a relationship, but anything that seems deliberate could and should always be avoided. If she calls you jealous after blatantly flirting with an ex (often done all over social media), eventually accuses you of being needy after ignoring you (intentionally), then sympathy is thus garnered (by others) resulting in you being the shallow one. This often makes you begin to question your own sanity. You probably considered yourself as an easy going loving human; but what’s this? Am I really as insensitive as she says I am? Ideas become thoughts which later reflect in your actions.


5. When you catch her pathological lies


This, my friend, is the last straw! You catch her red handed with something you’ve asked her not to do. It may be a simple task such as not leaving dishes in the sink or not to entertain male friends in her bedroom when you’re gone (I know a guy). Her intentions may have been innocent, yet her lying about it and eventually blowing things off proportion is all it takes for you to pack that emotional suitcase and get out of there! If no remorse or guilt is expressed when confronted with a lie, then it would make it that much easier for her to do the same in the eyes of a jury after she murders you in your sleep.



One must remember that there is always a good side to everything. For every psychotic female that exists, there ought to be at least a dozen normal females. The following is not an experts breakdown of what makes a psycho’s mind tick but it’s a ballpark. Express what you would want expressed to you and always be prepared for anything!


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Author: Al-fayed Mohammed
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