Are the odds of finding ‘The One’ as low as winning the lottery? Even with technological advancements, why can’t we make an algorithm, maybe to find the perfect partner for us? Why are there so many breakups and divorces? Are we that bad at reading people and getting to know them?
Well, you will be surprised if I told you that we have a built‐in algorithm called (drum roll!!!) ‘sense’ for this purpose. Have you ever started a relationship when a small voice inside you said “It won’t work out!”, which you chose to ignore? Then, few years down the line, it really doesn’t work out?
We usually tend to ignore ourselves. If you really want a relationship that is more than a fling, you better start listening to yourself because you know yourself the best! The thing is, give or take a few years and all the potholes in your partner which you so willingly turned a blind eye to in the beginning, do have a tendency of becoming obvious, that you can’t ignore them anymore…
Well, each of us has an image of what sort of a partner we are looking for, be it their appearance, personality traits, even on things the other has no say in, like the family background, nationality, race, and religion… It can be even as silly as a partner who texts with correct grammar and spellings!
For me, it was that he had to have a sense of humor! But, just because they had that one thing doesn’t mean that you are good for life. That is one of their characteristics and the rest of the package might or might not be as attractive as the initial reason that you fell for them.
It is impossible to find the perfect partner who fits your mold. You will have to alter your expectations a bit which involves a lot of compromising. The thing about meeting your Significant Other halfway is that you have to be certain that you are really okay with it.
So, going back to my story, I managed to find myself a ‘Funny guy’ and compromised on the fact that he smokes. One year down and I couldn’t pretend anymore that it was alright and that I was okay with it… I am huge on Health (yes, with a capital ‘H’) and the thing is that I have always hated the idea of smoking. I knew that. Obviously, right? But, for one year I childishly convinced myself that ‘everyone smokes and it is not a big deal’.
Well, the thing is that we look over ourselves and seek advice, even from some random guy on the streets, if they are willing to say what we wish to hear and mostly we try to fool ourselves when the truth is so obvious: sometimes, it just won’t work out… And that’s okay. Staying single is way better than going through a moment of high only to be followed by a crashing low.
Be an interesting person so that the right people will be interested in you. Get to know what you look for in your partner: the character traits and the deal‐breakers. What I am trying to say here is basically to ‘Trust your gut’! Because everyone else hides the truth and you get to hear things like ‘I knew he/she wasn’t for you’, ‘You guys had no chemistry’ only after the big break up and after your poor heart has been shattered to teeny tiny pieces. Believe me, I know that it hurts like hell! ( as if someone is trying to eat your heart out with a knife and a fork, something of that sort yeah?)
Finally, do keep this in mind: You finding the right partner has better odds than winning the lottery anyways: because it’s more than ‘Mere Luck’!
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The post Finding the perfect partner and winning the lottery. Will it ever happen? appeared first on Jump.lk.
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Author: Kanishka Wickramarathne
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